Referred to as hell week, American Idol Hollywood week, group rounds thursday night is all but hell to watch. It was definitely an entertaining hour of feel-good triumphs to the downright nasty, with contestants screaming out their Lady GaGa “OOO Ra-Ras” against one another, accusations of ‘plagiarism’ and petty “They STOLE our idea!” remarks flung carelessly towards the recording cameras, made complete with pitchy harmonies and distinctively bad vocals in the background.
Oh, what fun.
The ‘Dreamers’, one of the many tacky group names Idol contestants came up with this episode, including contestant Alex Lambert (what a name sweetheart), and ‘Cliché-rocker’ Mary Powers, went into a bit of a stir when two of their members went missing at the beginning of rehearsals, causing a ‘camera-panic’ ( defined as a state of panic exaggerated by a bad reality TV actor to effectively enhance the mood of a situation at play) The producers, probably dying for a sound bite then, were almost certainly ‘ecstatic’ when ‘Cliché-rocker’ Mary Powers announced,
“These two are not here. They’re fired!”
Contrary to what I’ve been reading on most sites, I don’t think Mary Powers is a bitch. She’s just a crazy control freak.
Oh Mary, what drama, and we are not even gonna talk about your business suit.
Another thing that is tremendously distracting for me this episode, I mean other then ‘Big Mike/over-pimped’ Michael Lynche’s enormous pecs and cold nipples, are his backstories that the producers shoved down our throats (and not in a good way) that I honestly couldn’t care less about. I love babies and all (ok not that much. I lied) but I’ve mentioned this before,
“ I HATE BACKSTORIES especially if they are over-emphasised to support a contestant who otherwise has a pretty average voice.”
‘Over-pimped’ Micheal Lynche’s voice is not just average, its nasal.
I have honestly no idea why they are ‘Pimping’ him so hard this season. I just don’t get his appeal, other then to fellow bears and cubs. (of whom I am friends with, who I love, very much)
‘Big Mike’ mentioned,
“I just can’t wait to get home to meet her(his wife and baby)”
I understand ‘Big Mike’. You and me both.
On a positive note however, I have to give a HUGE shout out to my favourite contestant this episode (at least), Charity Vance, of whom I have been endearingly referring to as ‘Singing sparrow’. Listening to her sing is like listening to a sweet blonde canary on a beautiful summer day. I was so engrossed with her performance that I totally blocked out the effort from the rest of her group members. I’m sure they sang well. Oh Charity, the things you do to me, again.
This episode also brought light to a number of praiseworthy contestants that had previously not been given any form of airtime before. Siobhan Magnus, (Seriously?) who even though was a tad bit wierd, was incredible, along with group member ‘possible-bitch’ Todrick Hall, ‘Purple bangs’ Theri and ‘Acrobat’ Jared Liewer, performing LadyGaGa’s Bad Romance, complete with innovative and engaging choreography . Other contestants worth a shout out include ’Pimped-spot/possible winner’ Andrew Garcia, ‘Packaged-artist’ Katie Stevens, ‘Smooth-as-butter’ Jermaine Purifoy, 'Cry-cry-baby' Didi Benami, ‘Third time the charm’ Angela Martin, “High-note’ Jermaine Sellers, Ashley Rodriguez and ‘Urban Hottie’ Tim Urban.
*For performance videos and images. click here*
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